Mastering Your Matrescence

The pressure to master our matrescence is influenced by the interaction of our personal desire for mastery, and the demands of our environment.

This is why self-esteem, self-worth, mental health and well-being are crucial, along with the challenging of idealised mothering or the perfect mother myth and the village in which we are held.

Mastery is defined as the comprehensive knowledge or skill in a particular subject or activity.

I would say, mastery in motherhood is a mother’s perception of how capable she is of mothering, based on her knowledge and skills.

Too often, a mothers self-assessment of mastery is layered with management of mental load, domestic duties, child/ren sleep and behaviour. Role performance at work AND home, without concession. Tied up in the perfect mother myth.

As mothers we judge our self-assessment of “mother” beyond just “mother-ing”.

Let’s take it back a notch.

Biologically a woman’s brain changes in pregnancy, it alters in structure and function to think in “we” and not I, to nurture and protect her offspring. And yet the messages and demands we receive from society, our environment, and the lack of village surrounding us, challenges our maternal instinct, clouds our own self-worth & self-esteem and can contribute to poorer mental health outcomes.

It’s no wonder modern-day mothering is confusing.

If a mother’s brain is wired to intuitively provide nurturance and safety for her offspring, then perhaps this should be how we aim to master motherhood? Nurturance and safety – attachment.

Challenging idealized mothering, or the perfect mother myth; creating a supportive village and tuning in to ourselves is therefore necessary to turn down the volume on the unrealistic expectations of mothers.

How do we do that, when the messages we receive are so noisy? I can help.

I’m Sarah, a Mental Health Occupational Therapist supporting mothers, and a mother of two myself. I’ve been confused by this very notion since becoming a mother, and this my passion to bring your evidence based education and support.

These thoughts have been provoked by the Occupational Adaptation Frame of Reference and Circle of Security Parenting. And, as always, inspired by work of @drsophiebrock

What do you think? Get in touch today and let’s talk.