Navigating the social *expectations* of motherhood.
In the realm of motherhood, women encounter societal norms that shape their experiences, inherited through cultural traditions and societal cues. However, it's essential to critically examine the impact of these norms on individual selfhood, the developmental and evolutionary nature of matrescence and generally speaking maternal mental health.
From a sociological perspective, the social norms of motherhood encompass a range of expectations and behaviors associated with being a mother within a specific culture. These expectations influence decisions related to work, family, and personal life, molding the roles mothers play in society. Matrescence is a vulnerable and transformative time of mother becoming, and for many mothers on their first journey - they’ll look outward.
These norms aren't static; they vary across cultures and change over time. Modern mothers find themselves at a unique juncture, with an opportunity to shape the trajectory of these norms. The key lies in individual and empowered mothering aligned with core values, challenging unwritten rules that may not serve the true essence of motherhood.
Breaking Down Social Norms:
Let's delve into five enduring norms of motherhood:
The Present Mother: Focused on being attentive to the child.
The Future-Oriented Mother: Centered around securing the child's successful development.
The Working Mother: Embracing the norm of integrating employment into mothering.
The Public Mother: Upholding the norm of being in control.
The Happy Mother: Adhering to the norm of being contented, and fulfilled totally in mothering alone.
Despite social changes, the assumption persists that mothers are primarily responsible for various aspects of family life, at the expense of themselves.
While these norms may seem benign on the surface, they often perpetuate inequalities for mothers. The societal expectation that mothers bear the primary responsibility for various aspects of family life upholds neoliberal and patriarchal power structures.
What these norms fail to recognize is the profound evolutionary and developmental process of matrescence.
As a Mental Health Occupational Therapist and a mother, my work is informed by unraveling these norms and supporting mothers in their journey. The goal is not just to navigate but to reshape the landscape of societal expectations. Through individualized and empowered mothering, we can foster a culture that celebrates the true essence of authentic mothering.
Ref: Schmidt, E.-M., Décieux, F., Zartler, U., & Schnor, C. (2023). What makes a good mother? Two decades of research reflecting social norms of motherhood. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 15( 1), 57– 77. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12488